ISTJ. . .xyz (Part Two)

It’s not alphabet soup, but it does get mixed up and complicated

[DISCLAIMER: I am by no means a MBTI or psychology expert; all opinions and thoughts in this post are nothing more than what was just stated; I do not consider myself an expert, I simply have researched to the extent that I feel is necessary to go before sharing information with others; due to the length (short) of this and the following post, I’m unable to explain everything in detail, so think of this as the SparkNotes of MBTI]

As I stated in my previous post, introvert and extrovert have different meanings than is usually assumed. They do not determine one’s social capabilities.

Introverts gain more energy by being alone, and extroverts gain energy by being with people. It would logically follow that the latter would be more inclined to be a social butterfly, but this isn’t always the case.

The I/E also indicates whether a function is introverted or extroverted. To put it simply- If a function is introverted, it is focused more on the internal world of a person’s mind. If it is extroverted, it naturally focuses on the outside world. one is not better than another.

Intuition (N)

Intuition is a method of perceiving. It feeds off ideas/theories/concepts to process what one sees of the outside world.

Ni, or introverted intuition, is best explained with- It all makes sense to me but no one else.

Ni users typically are the people who seem lost in a conversation, but a couple minutes later they suddenly have solved all the problems on hand. It’s kind of crazy, honestly. Their system of organisation isn’t really a system at all- It’s basically a bunch of spiderweb connections that are hard to explain if you don’t have the exact replica.

Ni usually has trouble recalling memories that connect with the present but is great at coming up with spur of the moment decisions that are surprisingly well thought through. This is partially due to Se, but Ni has a part to do with it.

Ne, or extroverted intuition, is like Ni in that it makes connections. However, these are easier to explain and they connect the external world. Someone who’s an Ne user can quickly go from knife to gravestone with a simple- Knife, blood, death, funeral, gravestone connection.

Ne is focused on connecting all the things in the external world, whether or not they can be connected. An Ne user will go to great lengths to put the pieces together, and they can generally explain the connections pretty quickly.

A lot of times, Ne will connect concepts back to things they learned as children, whereas Ni will connect things as it is practical for the future.

Sensing (S)

This more or less indicates whether a person is living in the present or the past. People living in the past tend to recall memories for every current event, and people in the present live for the moment or the future.

Si, introverted sensing, is focused on the past and past memories. Everything they perceive from the world is run through a memory filter.

Se, extroverted sensing, is focused on the moment. Everything is connected to other things in the moment, it’s a lot like Ne, but while Intuition is more of a mental thing, Sensing affects the actions more directly.

Feeling (F)

Feeling does not mean one is an emotional dramatic mess (though let’s face it- a lot of us are, myself not exempt.) It simply describes how one relates to emotions or acts upon them. It also explains whether one is more externally or internally driven.

Fi, introverted feeling, is very much based on one’s own morals and understandings of the world. As a general rule, a healthy Fi user is also able to identify their own emotions and (supposedly) know how to handle them.

Fe, extroverted feeling, is more based off the external world and how others feel or perceive the world. They look to the outside for rules and morals, whereas Fi looks to their own morals/beliefs. Fe users generally have a creepily uncanny way of identifying others’ emotions, while failing to identify their own.

Thinking (T)

Myth: Thinkers are more intelligent than Feelers.

There’s a rumor that facts rank higher than emotions. While this may be true in certain things, it’s false in others. Or even- the opposite is true. We need both thinkers and feelers in this world, and both are equally important. Just in different ways.

Ti, introverted thinking, focuses on organising the internal world. Everything connects neatly in the mind, and while the organisation system makes sense to no one else, the user is able to easily pull files from anywhere in their mental database.

Te, extroverted thinking, focuses on organising the external world. . .but this is where it gets tricky. They’re organising the external world internally. It’s hard to explain. There are a lot more cold, hard facts than Ti, which has more concepts and theories, though.

*collapses*

There.

It’s been. . . a lot of weeks, and I have no good excuse for why this took me so long. We also shan’t count how many times I opened this draft and looked at it blankly. Yes, I know the Intuition section is longer than the others. Let’s just say my brain fizzled and died around there.

If you want more information, https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/ is a pretty good source. There were more good sites and a couple blogs, but for some reason my mental database is pulling a blank, so sorry about that.

Let me know if you have any questions, and I’ll try to elaborate things in the comments.

Donec Iterum!

ISTJ. . .xyz (Part One)

The basics behind the letters. . .no, it’s not just an alphabet soup

[DISCLAIMER: I am by no means a MBTI or psychology expert; all opinions and thoughts in this post are nothing more than what was just stated; I do not consider myself an expert, I simply have researched to the extent that I feel is necessary to go before sharing information with others; due to the length (short) of this and the following post, I’m unable to explain everything in detail]

You’ve probably heard about MBTI (Myers-Briggs theory). It’s been tossed around with the Enneagram, and there are plenty of memes and YouTube skits about the various stereotypes of both (let me know if you want an in-depth Enneagram post *winks*).

However, unless you’ve become obsessed with it and researched it in depth (*coughs* totally not me *cough*) odds are you’ve succumbed to what any self-respecting MBTI nerd would run away from- Stereotypes. It’s easy to run everything you know about MBTI off of various stereotypes, and, to be fair, a lot of them are fairly accurate.

To understand MBTI to the fullest, however, one must get past stereotypes and dive into the good stuf.

Behold:

Cognitive Functions.

*rubs hands together and cackles*

(raccoon meme, anyone?)

Yes, MBTI is simply explained in a 4 letter phrase. No, that is not all there is to it.

If you’ve ever studied or had anything to do with MBTI, you’ve probably been referred to (warning to all MBTI nerds: Cringe alert) 16personalities.com. I am no expert, and I certainly do not want to heap distaste on a well-known site, but. . .yeah, I won’t heap my bucket of loathing on it.

Just know and accept that I don’t like it.

And neither does anyone who studies MBTI.

Anywho. Moving on-

This means you’re probably familiar with the whole: E/I – N/S – F/T – J/P, code system. It’s pretty simple, right? Well. What you might not know is that-

EVERYONE has N (intuition), S (sensing), F (feeling), and T (thinking)The J/P (judging, which has nothing to do with being judgemental/perceiving, which doesn’t mean you’re supernatural) represent which function is first- The judging function (S/N) or the perceiving function (F/T).

Also, I have to get this out of my system, so I sort of apologise for the formatting:

INTROVERT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SOCIALLY AWKARD AND HATE PEOPLE

EXTROVERT DOES NOT MEAN YOU LOVE BEING AROUND PEOPLE 24/7

THOSE STEREOTYPES NEED TO DIE

*nods* Thank you. I needed that little vent.

Introvert means you are generally more refreshed after being alone, extrovert means you’re generally more refreshed after being with people. Just because I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I have social anxiety and don’t enjoy people.

Yes, it means I’ve been thriving in quarantine and would do perfectly fine in online classes with minimal socialisation. However, I’m still human as far as enjoying the occasional conversation with a friend or other simple social activities.

(to those of you who care, I’m ISTJ. . .*glances at the post title*. . .I know, you never would have guess, right?)

Remember how the J/P stands for which of the four functions (N/S/F/T) go first? Well the E/I explains whether the first function is introverted (which generally means more internally focused) or extroverted (which, being the opposite, naturally means more externally focused).

And that, my friends, is the foundation of Cognitive Functions. It’s kind of like SparkNotes on CF, actually.

I’ll be going more in depth on the specifics of each function, including examples and such along the way, in my next post- Provided I don’t get crushed by either school or other things that come along with that thing called “Lyfe”.

I personally really like studying MBTI, even though it’s been a minute since I last did some serious research on it. If you’re looking for good places to check out before I post the next part of this, you might want to check out one of these places:

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/02/23/introduction-cognitive-functions-myers-briggs-theory/

https://personalityjunkie.com/functions-ni-ti-fi-si-ne-te-fe-se/

There was another site I wanted to link, but I can’t find it. . .oh well.

DONEC ITERUM

[If you’d like to see future posts on things like Enneagram, or MBTI stereotypes, or just about anything, let me know in the comments, and I’ll add it to my dwindling list of blog post ideas]

Choices

A quick search on the all-knowing Google revealed that the average person makes approximately 35,000 choices a day (yes, I know you’re not average, but bear with me, ‘ey?). That’s thousands of unconscious choices. Even if it’s something as small as the subconscious saying: And now, folks, we will walk two steps to the righ- WHO PUT THAT WALL THERE?

Odds are, we’re pretty aware of what choices we’re making. At least the simple ones like donuts or eggs for breakfast? Or something like country or classical music?

If you really think about it, you could probably catch yourself making decisions you usually don’t know about. The subconscious ones like- I’m going to move two centimetres to the left so I don’t walk into that wall.

But what about the things you think you don’t have control over? Could you *gasp* could you actually be able to control them?

Attitude, reactions, feelings, all that fun stuff.

Sure, I’d concur that this doesn’t “work” for everyone, but I would argue that most people could benefit a lot from just making the right decision.

Just because I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, doesn’t mean my whole day is gonna be bad.

(though, y’know, in my case there’s a wall on two sides, so if I got off on the wrong side of the bed I probably walked into a wall which. . .generally isn’t advised)

Seriously though. I experimented with this for a bit. I’m the kind of person who will quickly make the statement of- Oh, well, today is going to be a bad day because it’s 2 degrees too hot outside.

And, by the laws of self-fulling prophesies, the day will be horrible, SIMPLY BECAUSE OF MY SET PERSPECTIVE.

Think about it.

You can decide how you want to look at something. Say someone gives you a bowl of popcorn. You can think- Wow, free food! or you can think- Welp, too bad they don’t love me enough to get me chocolate.

Either way, you have the popcorn. So you can either enjoy it completely (and with a big smile and ‘thank you’ that will make the giver’s day), or you can wallow in self-pity (which doesn’t hurt anyone but you. . .and the person would be less inclined to give you anything including chocolate, soooo). You can choose how to handle the situation, but in my personal opinion, the former is better.

What about those of us who are finishing up the final years of highschool? Let’s be honest, there’s a fair number of us who are completely thinking- Oh thank goodness, only a couple more months/years and then FREEDOM. I just gotta survive the next bit of time. . .

Uhm. Okay?

Here’s the thing. You gotta live the next few years at home anyway. You can either steel your teeth and brace yourself to “survive” the next few years, or you can slap the negativity and choose to be happy. You’d be surprised how amazing your family is once you put on the right glasses of perspective.

You make thousands of choices every day. Make the little ones count, and think about the ones that affect your perspective.

*tries to think of a good signing off phrase*

. . .

*will work on it*

Blink

When I was younger, I used to have nights where I would literally blink, and somehow it would be the next day.

Those nights were weird because I’d either be super refreshed with absolutely no reason (which was nice because then I could bounce outta bed and get going), or I’d be exhausted because it felt like I didn’t get any sleep at all. [Side Note: Apparently if you dream, you got REM sleep which means you had a deeper sleep and thus should be more refreshed. I would argue that I’m an exception to that rule. . .]

Needless to say- Those kind of nights really make one think about how she’s blinking her life away.

This past weekend’s been amazing. An “old friend” came to visit me from out of state. Even though I hadn’t seen her in well over 4 years, we struck up conversation immediately and only paused when we needed to breathe (which I’ve learned from experience is a generally good practice to indulge in) or sleep (also an underrated practice). I shan’t go on a glowing rant about it, but suffice to say- It. Was. EPIC.

However, I noticed that it went awfully fast. Sure, it may have seemed slow at times (when you’re on the third hour of sorting out the Dutch Blitz cards you start to wonder why you’ve lost feeling in your wrists and hands), but it on a whole went fast.

Same thing with summer, honestly. I had my fair share of flopping around and informing the general household of my intense case of boredom, and I had a great time doing not-school. Needless to say, it’s passed fairly fast. I mean. Just look at the date! *still hasn’t changed the calendar from July to August, but y’know*

How much of that time was intentional time spent with people you love or doing things you love? How much of this summer are you gonna remember?

Forget summer- How much of your life are you gonna remember? How much are you gonna want to remember?

Sure, maybe you don’t wanna be stuck with your little sibling in the back of the car on a roadtrip across the country. But like it or not you are STUCK in the back seat. So you can either A) Steel your teeth and nerves and force yourself to survive (may the odds be ever in your favour) or B) Resign yourself, have a good attitude, and take the opportunity for sibling bonding (because school/work/lyfe is around the corner, and Free Time is good at hiding).

Basically- If you gotta go through something, why go in with a mentality of “just surviving”, when you know deep down that you can thrive if you just give yourself permission?

You’re stronger than you think.

Don’t let Lyfe pass with a blink of the eye, when you can at least control the memories you can take from it. Memories are like a mental photograph, but something deeper than a simple selfie.

I assure you I had planned for this to be a cohesive and coherent post, but alas. My brain did not attend the meeting where said adjectives were decided on and set in motion.

Carpe diem.

*wanders away*

Start Somewhere

[DISCLAIMER: I am by no means an expert on VOM, and I certainly have not done extensive research on any of the founders. Anything said in this post is what I’ve picked up and learned along the way, and I apologise for any misinformation, I assure you it’s not intentional. If you want to find out more about Voice of the Martyrs, you can check out their website: https://www.persecution.com/]

In my quiet time devotional this morning (Extreme Devotion, by the Voice of the Martyrs; hands down my favourite devotional of all time), I read about the founders of Voice of the Martys.

They lived in the communist country of Romania, soon after it was taken over by the USSR in the mid 1900s. Obviously, they’d been told very strongly to not talk out against the communist government. The couple, however, felt that God was calling them to at least tell the stories of those in persecution.

Now you might be thinking- Great, so they started The Voice of the Martyrs and told everyone about it, the end. Oh, if only it was that easy.

Richard and Sabina Wurmbrand had both sent many many years in prison for their underground ministry. Sabina was even thrown in a work prison for women, where she was forced to carry and move heavy stones in the cold and rainy weather. Even when both were eventually released, they lived with the knowledge that they could easily be taken back to the dark centre of the communist nation.

So yeah. Not as easy a decision as it might look.

Nevertheless, the Wurmbrands refused to let the Enemy win. They refused to succumb to the overwhelming amount of “what if”s and doubts. Even though they didn’t know where to start, they took a step in faith and started.

Now, Voice of the Martyrs is a growing ministry, dedicated to serving persecuted Christians and telling their stories to raise awareness. Just because two people refused to listen to doubts and fear.

That’s all great, yeh? But odds are you aren’t currently being physically persecuted for something you believe, so how about something that hits a bit closer to home?

What’s something you’re afraid to start? What’s something you’re uncertain about, making it hard to find a good starting place?

Everything starts somewhere.

That somewhere looks different for you than it would for me, because people are subjective. Unfortunately, there isn’t a “one size fits all”, as much as we wish there was. There isn’t because nothing worth having is easy to get. That would just degrade it’s worth.

For me personally, some things I had to start this past week were- Looking into colleges and scholarships (the future is scary, y’all), being more intentional with family (family is probably the easiest thing to take for granted, at least for me), and redesigning my room (which sounds way harder than it was, I literally just painted and rearranged).

So see? Nothing too extreme. Certainly, none of those things are going to cost me my life to do. But to me personally, they were hard things. Like I said- Subjectivity.

You have a few more weeks left of summer break (unless you work full time, in which case. . .uhm. . .you have a few more weeks left of extreme heat), what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about those tasks or personal goals lurking in the shadows?

You gotta start somewhere.

I’m Boredddd

Have you ever been around a young child? Odds are you’ll hear “I’m bored” several times in the span of thirty-minutes. After all, a child’s attention span rivals that of a goldfish.

Honestly, that’s not just a little kid thing though. Teens especially get bored. Happens a lot around this time, right? School’s not too far off, but it’s far enough away for summer break to have lost it’s excitement of nothingness.

With high-speed internet and something always happening on social media, we’re used to being entertained 24/7. So when there’s suddenly down time, whether it’s because you forgot to charge your phone, or it’s because you’re being forced to wait in line at the ice cream shop, our first thought is- I’m bored.

Sure, we can stare at a wall and think up thoughts, but that only lasts a few minutes. Goodness, if we have to wait for WiFi to reboot for longer than 5 minutes we get bored!

A friend of mine recently sent a screenshot to a group chat of a book she’s reading. It basically said- Teens take boredom for granted.

*coughs*

Excuse me?

Boredom is a blessing?

Well, believe it or not, with the right perspective (*winks*) it is. Why? Because it means we have time on our hands, even if it’s just mental time.

Think back less than a hundred years ago, when teens our age were getting jobs, getting married, going to college early- All the things. They couldn’t afford to be bored. They had to support their families and get an education.

We, on the other hand, can afford to work at boring jobs that allow us time to think. We can afford sleeping in until late morning. We can afford to sit around the house all day doing nothing but whimpering “I’m bored”. . .*totallyhasn’tdonethis*.

It’s all about perspective.

But since we’re on the topic of bored, I might as well add that in order to be bored it means one has an excess of time on one’s hands. Or in one’s head, if you’d like to get legalistic *grinz*.

Now, if you’d like to continue to take the blessing of boredom and flop around all day, then by all means- Have at it! You only get summers as a kid, right?

However, if you wanna make your boredom count, and make something of the blessing, try changing the “I’m bored” time to the “I feel alive” time.

Do something fun but productive with your summer break and your free time in general. Find a new hobby and research it. Call some friends and be bored together and laugh together while chatting. Memorise some Scripture verses, learn a new skill.

(and, I mean, we’re all stuck in quarantine, so why don’t you try out your skills in the kitchen? Maybe you’ll become the next 5-star home cook. . .and well, if not, you can always eat the products of your labour. . .)

This post went all over the place, but essentially- Boredom is a blessing, don’t waste it.

Cheerio 😉

Content: Complex Concept

“If you are not content where you are, there’s no reason to believe you will be content when you get to where you would rather be.”

Anonymous

A friend of mine recently sent that quote to a group chat I’m in. I’ve thought about it a lot, but seeing it in my notifications this morning brought back a torrent of thoughts.

Content is such a complex concept (like the alliteration I had there? *grinz*). It’s something we all strive to obtain but find it impossible to reach on our own. There is always something holding us back from being completely content.

How many times have you heard kids say “all I want is-“ go ahead. Fill in the blank.

You hear adults say it too. “If only I had that promotion. That raise. A better house.”

But I’m still a teen, so I can’t talk on adults.

If I had a dime for everyone who’s ever told me “I can’t wait to be away from my parents to either college or just anywhere”, I wouldn’t be as broke as I am now. All us naive children think that if we can just break away from our parents supposedly controlling power, everything would be fine.

Why? We want independence. It’s apparently hard to fathom that there’s still going to be people above us- Employers, law, government. And safe to say that their lightest consequences will be much heavier than any of our childhood punishments.

It could be something else though.

Maybe we think all we need is to be in control of our own lives to be happy. Well. News flash- Control is a fantasy.

Believe me you, we do not want complete control. We’ve seen what happens in history when people get complete control. Just flip back to any kind of war.

But back to the whole “you won’t be content when you get to where you want to be” thing. I’ve met a lot of adults and college kids who miss their parents.

I’ve met a lot of people in big houses with fancy cars who still want “more”.

If you can’t learn to be grateful in your current circumstance, you won’t be content in your dream.

I don’t know what that looks like for you, but for me it meant I needed to stop taking things for granted. Every little thing is a blessing.

If I start the day off with a thought of “today is a good day because God made it”, and I start off on a completely blank slate, then every little blessing I see just adds to the little tower of contentedness.

As a Christian, I ought to be completely content in Christ. But I’ll be the first to tell you I’m still human. Just because I love Him doesn’t mean I don’t want a new laptop or a full scholarship to college.

But because I love Him with all my heart and seek to make Him my only pursuit, I’m hopefully getting closer and closer to the end goal of complete contentedness in Christ.

Because He’s not going anywhere. He’ll never leave me- Which means no matter what circumstance I’m thrown in, I can be content.

I’m still growing.

Judge? Everyone Does It.

A man went to the village.

He was an evangelist, going to visit a UPG (unreached people group) in the outskirts of a third world country. He’d come alone as an outsider to the UPGs, but not to the country.

Growing up in the country, he’d first learned about Jesus and salvation via a small radio in his hometown. Once he became a Christian, he would stop at nothing to spread the good news farther. He worked hard and eventually graduated from a seminary and instantly moved back to his country to share his beloved faith with people who hadn’t heard. . .yet.

Coming into the village early in the afternoon, he was greeted by the village leader. Unfortunately, a scowl, not a smile, met him.

“We do not want your kind here,” the leader growled at the evangelist.

Surprised and taken aback, the evangelist asked simply- “I’m sorry?”

“We know your kind. You are a Christian, yes?”

The eager evangelist nodded in confusion.

“Another man who claimed to be a Christian came to us a year ago,” the leader explained warily. “He taught us about love and Jesus.”

The evangelist nodded again, this time excited that his faith had preceded him.

“But then he lied to us. He cheated us. He stole from us,” the leader’s eyes narrowed. “He told us how to act, in love and kindness, but he did not do the same.”

The evangelist’s face fell at an all too familiar story of a hypocrite.

“We do not want anything to do with your kind,” the leader finished firmly.

The evangelist nodded slowly. “Very well then,” he sighed. “I will not bother you by even staying the night.”

The leader looked confused but didn’t argue.

“But please, as I am going on to the other villages, might I take a chicken with me?” The evangelist pointed time the many little creatures that were scurrying around as the men talked. “The other villages have never grown chickens before and have never seen them. I would like to show them what chickens are. I would be willing to buy one from you.”

The leader’s expression went from suspicious to proud. “Of course!” He beamed proudly. “You may even take one for free,” he spread out his hand to the large flock.

The evangelist smiled and went through the chickens as the leader and the villagers watched. He picked through them meticulously, until he’d picked the perfect chicken.

“Aha!” He nodded firmly. “Thank you, leader, for your generosity. I shall be on my way now.”

“Wait!” The leader stopped him. “Why must you choose that one?”

The chicken that the evangelist had chosen was small. Small, sickly, and barely alive. It peered at the world through its beady little eyes.

“Because,” the evangelist explained. “I want to get a chicken to show everyone else. Perhaps they will even be willing to trade for more when they see this one.”

The leader shook his head aghast. To have all the surrounding villages see this sickly chicken and think it represented all of their chickens? The horror.

“No, please take a healthier one! A bigger one, a cleaner one, a pretty one!” The leader urged. “The one ill chicken does not represent all the chickens we have!”

The evangelist tilted his head and set down the chicken. “And so the one unhealthy Christian does not represent all of Christians not all of Christianity.”

My father used to tell that story a lot. I thought about it the other day when someone mentioned how easily it is for people in general to be judgemental.

I think people forget that everyone is different, and that everyone is subjective. Christians are human too.

When one becomes a Christian, there’s not some supernatural transformation that leaves us being perfect angels (don’t we wish though *laughs*). Becoming a Christian doesn’t make us “good” or any better than anyone else. It just means we’ve dedicated ourself to Christ and to striving to be more like Him.

So just like Christians oughtn’t judge others, Christians oughtn’t be judged themselves. We’re not perfect. We’ll never be perfect.

All we can do is try to be more like Christ-

Who is perfect.

Forgot You Existed. . .Sorry?

Warning: This post contains half-developed, thrown together in the moment, blink-worthy thoughts. Aka, it’s all over the place.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I only exist when you need something.”

– A Depressing T-Shirt

I was scrolling Pinterest the other day and came across this quote.

(I hear it in a sarcastic teen girl voice, and I still can’t place it. . .even after days of trying to figure it out. . .)

Needless to say, I saved it and thought about it way too much for the next 48 hours. Accurate? Maybe. Helpful? Pfft, no.

Whoever comes up with these uplifting little jewels needs a bar of chocolate and a empathetic pat on the back. Because that be roughhhh.

After my little pity-party session, I stepped back and thought a bit more objectively (yes, believe it or not, I can attempt such a feat). Sure, I might feel this quote sometimes, but if others find it so relatable. . .does that mean others think about this a lot? More importantly-

Do they think about it when they think of me?

I think we (homo sapiens) tend to do this thing called “taking for granted”. Essentially, it just means that we brush some things off and decide they’re *safe*. We don’t feel obligated to do as much with those things because they’re in a nice little box.

Relationships especially.

I’ll be the first to say that I take my family for granted a lot. Especially over the past year and a half of my life.

What does this mean? Well, I basically didn’t go out of my way to spend time with them. I focused on my friends and me. I wanted to do what I wanted to do.

This isn’t to say I became a completely self-centred child (though honestly, I’m way too self-centred), it just means that I directed my time, attention, and energy elsewhere.

Namely friendships.

I worked hard for the friendships I have. I have some of the most amazing people who I call friends, and I have no clue how we’re friends. They’re under no obligation to stick around, yet they do, and I’m eternally grateful to them.

That being said- I had to work for those friendships. Family you’re born into; friendships you plant, nurture, grow, and water. So technically speaking, they’re more work.

But family?

I think we take family for granted.

They’re the ones telling us to do our chores, whining when we don’t go play with them, bugging us for the umpteenth time to ask us where on earth the shopping list went. They’re the ones we see the most, which means we see them at their highs and at their lows.

But like.

They’re the ones who stick by us through thick and thing. They’re the ones who will defend us and protect us against any haters. They’re the ones who provide food and shelter-

And do we thank them?

Pfft. We complain if we have to take out the trash.

Same with our close friends. Once you’ve made a close connection, it can be tempting to put it on the backburner as a *safe* friendship that you can always fall back on if your new more exciting ones fail.

I’ll also be the first to admit I’ve done that a couple times. Not proud of it.

So next time you see or think about this quote and start to break out the black balloons and dark fuzzy blankets for a pity party, think about people who might think this about you.

This isn’t a post to point fingers (goodness knows I’m the last person on Earth who could do that in good conscious), it’s just a friendly little perspective check.

I know I need it a lot.

Now go find someone you take for granted and give them a big hug *winks* (or if they’re like me and twitch at the thought of a hug, make them a cup of their favourite drink).

Let go. . .

I’m an ISTJ.

For those of you who only see a string of letters, allow me to quickly give you a crash course on MBTI 101.

There are 8 different letters that each represent something, and everyone has four letters. Introvert/Extrovert; Sensing/Intuition; Thinking/Feeling; Judging/Perceiving. These letters then break down into cognitive functions, and mine are Si-Te-Fi-Ne.

*coughs*

Confused yet? I’ll stop there. (though if you’d like a post on the Myers-Briggs typology, I’d love to write up a lengthy post. . .)

Basically, according to my MBTI, I lead with Introverted Sensing. In short, this means I rely on past experiences/memories when perceiving and processing the external world. Even if things are happening in the moment, I’m inclined to link them to the past.

New experiences make me nervous because my memory tells me that new experiences can be scary, painful, and all-around bad.

Making new friendships can be terrifying because my past experience tells me that people (being human) can hurt me and abandon me.

Hopes and dreams are things I dare not indulge in because in the past I’ve been disappointed by things that failed to come to pass.

You get the point. The past cripples me.

Sure, it’s good to have these memories. They’re lessons, and I certainly don’t want to forget them (those who forget history are doomed to repeat it). I also don’t want them to stop me from making better memories.

I tend to dwell on the past. . .a bit too much. Long after other people move on, I’m still caught in speculation and “deep thought” over generally trivial concepts. While a certain amount of thinking is good (and goodness knows the world needs thinkers), too much can be detrimental on so many different levels.

I think people think too much.

But that’s another post for another time.

I’ve recently realised how much the past has crippled me. Sure, I like the melodrama of replaying dramatic points of my life, but I much prefer experiencing happy moments. . .in the moment.

Recently (*whispers* as in “today”), I realised how much better I do mentally, physically, and emotionally, if I allow myself to live “in the moment” instead of “in the past”. I can’t change the past, so why worry about it?

I want to take the lessons I learned and apply them to my life, so I can become a better person.

I want to take my story that’s been written and study it objectively, so I can share it with others and hopefully help others in similar situations.

I don’t want to be so caught up in the past that I don’t allow myself to make new memories with new experiences.

I want to let go of the past- At least the “being caught up in” aspect. Because once I let go, my hands will be open and free for whatever dreams chance my way.

You can’t change the past, but you can affect your future.