All Things Coffee

(yes, it’s late in the day. bear with me, m’kay? honestly- Isn’t this when all the students start guzzling caffeine? don’t look so innocent. . .)

IN HONOUR OF TODAY (or yesterday) BEING NATIONAL COFFEE DAY, I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE IT UPON MYSELF TO WRITE A POST ALL THINGS COFFEE

Never would have guessed that was what the post was about, ‘ey?

I’ve been a barista for about 1.5 months, and it’s been a blast. I am by no means an expert (someone actually ordered something today that I’d never heard of. A “red eye”.), but I like to think I’ve been taught a few things.

And now, I shall pass it on to you so that next time you stare at a list of foreign coffee terms at a shop, you might be able to identify something and not order an iced vanilla latte (if you’re a barista, you’ll get the joke.)

COFFEE LINGO

“Pull a shot” -> make a shot (or double shot) of espresso

Espresso -> highly caffeinated coffee

And uh, I think that’s all. . . you probably knew those, so let me know if there are any terms you don’t know that Google doesn’t help with.

TYPES OF COFFEE DRINKS

Okay, if you’re a diehard coffee drinker, you’ll probably turn up your nose on this section, but bear with the rest of us false coffee drinkers, m’kay?

Espresso: Just a straight shot of intense coffee. It’s generally less than two ounces, and I’m not joking when I say it’s intense.

Latte: A shot of espresso with milk to top it off (or more like- a cup of milk with a couple ounces of intense coffee.) Typically, people order this with a couple pumps of flavoured syrups, like the well known pumpkin spice latte. Or the fall-back “iced vanilla latte” that literally everyone orders.

Americano: A shot of espresso + hot water to top it off.

Cappuccino: A shot of espresso with milk that is half foamy and half just hot. A “real” cappuccino is apparently less than 8 ounces, but if you go to some big name coffeeshops I won’t name, you can get it in bigger sizes. It’s basically just a latte at that point.

Cortado: A shot of espresso with a wee bit of milk in it. Essentially a less complicated cappuccino.

Pour Over: It’s like drip coffee, but more technical. It’s easier to get different types of blends, because they’re ground specifically for your cup of coffee. Though at home you would generally do this by hand, most coffeeshops are equipped with helpful machines that pour at just the right speed to produce delectable coffee.

Dirty Chai: Okay, this isn’t technically a coffee. . . but neither is a bunch of those things *points up at the list*. A dirty chai is just a chai latte with a shot of espresso. Yes, I know. That caffeine shows you’re living on edge. . . but so does the fact that you totally procrastinated on studying for that 8am exam tomorrow.

What’s the difference between iced coffee and cold brew?

Honestly, they really do seem to be the same thing.

However.

Iced coffee is typically the house blend- But iced. Whereas cold brew is legit brewed cold (surpriseeeee.)

Some places do it fast, other places do it overnight. It takes a special kind of filter and container that holds the cold brew blend and is filled with water. It’s typically a notch higher/better than iced coffee- Or at least, so I’ve heard.

On a personal note. . .

So, to commemorate National Coffee Day, I did something for my coffee loving friends.

I’m talking legit coffee drinkers. The kind who drink three espresso shots with nothing in them. The kind who drink the cold brew straight.

Yeah. Those people.

(i love them so much)

I told said friends that if there happened to be any extra espress, I would drink it straight. I did this a couple weeks ago and nearly died (if you don’t know, I’m not a huge fan of straight black coffee. . . yes, I know I work at a coffeeshop. Problem?)

Well.

There happened to be a shot left.

(half a shot, to be precise, but that’s technically a full shot since a normal shot is a double shot and just- Okay, enough math)

So.

I drank it straight and videoed myself.

*coughs*

I nearly made a dozen faces in the span of two seconds, but then I noticed people off to my left so I cut the video, spun around, dropped the empty espresso shot glass into the sink, and tried not to vocally express my extreme displeasure.

Then I turned around and took the next person’s order. Let’s just say I was extremely grateful for the required mask.

The end. Hopefully you enjoyed this slightly informational post on that thing that has become a staple to millions if not billions of people world wide.

Talk about bandwagon!

7 thoughts on “All Things Coffee

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