ISTJ. . .xyz (Part Two)

It’s not alphabet soup, but it does get mixed up and complicated

[DISCLAIMER: I am by no means a MBTI or psychology expert; all opinions and thoughts in this post are nothing more than what was just stated; I do not consider myself an expert, I simply have researched to the extent that I feel is necessary to go before sharing information with others; due to the length (short) of this and the following post, I’m unable to explain everything in detail, so think of this as the SparkNotes of MBTI]

As I stated in my previous post, introvert and extrovert have different meanings than is usually assumed. They do not determine one’s social capabilities.

Introverts gain more energy by being alone, and extroverts gain energy by being with people. It would logically follow that the latter would be more inclined to be a social butterfly, but this isn’t always the case.

The I/E also indicates whether a function is introverted or extroverted. To put it simply- If a function is introverted, it is focused more on the internal world of a person’s mind. If it is extroverted, it naturally focuses on the outside world. one is not better than another.

Intuition (N)

Intuition is a method of perceiving. It feeds off ideas/theories/concepts to process what one sees of the outside world.

Ni, or introverted intuition, is best explained with- It all makes sense to me but no one else.

Ni users typically are the people who seem lost in a conversation, but a couple minutes later they suddenly have solved all the problems on hand. It’s kind of crazy, honestly. Their system of organisation isn’t really a system at all- It’s basically a bunch of spiderweb connections that are hard to explain if you don’t have the exact replica.

Ni usually has trouble recalling memories that connect with the present but is great at coming up with spur of the moment decisions that are surprisingly well thought through. This is partially due to Se, but Ni has a part to do with it.

Ne, or extroverted intuition, is like Ni in that it makes connections. However, these are easier to explain and they connect the external world. Someone who’s an Ne user can quickly go from knife to gravestone with a simple- Knife, blood, death, funeral, gravestone connection.

Ne is focused on connecting all the things in the external world, whether or not they can be connected. An Ne user will go to great lengths to put the pieces together, and they can generally explain the connections pretty quickly.

A lot of times, Ne will connect concepts back to things they learned as children, whereas Ni will connect things as it is practical for the future.

Sensing (S)

This more or less indicates whether a person is living in the present or the past. People living in the past tend to recall memories for every current event, and people in the present live for the moment or the future.

Si, introverted sensing, is focused on the past and past memories. Everything they perceive from the world is run through a memory filter.

Se, extroverted sensing, is focused on the moment. Everything is connected to other things in the moment, it’s a lot like Ne, but while Intuition is more of a mental thing, Sensing affects the actions more directly.

Feeling (F)

Feeling does not mean one is an emotional dramatic mess (though let’s face it- a lot of us are, myself not exempt.) It simply describes how one relates to emotions or acts upon them. It also explains whether one is more externally or internally driven.

Fi, introverted feeling, is very much based on one’s own morals and understandings of the world. As a general rule, a healthy Fi user is also able to identify their own emotions and (supposedly) know how to handle them.

Fe, extroverted feeling, is more based off the external world and how others feel or perceive the world. They look to the outside for rules and morals, whereas Fi looks to their own morals/beliefs. Fe users generally have a creepily uncanny way of identifying others’ emotions, while failing to identify their own.

Thinking (T)

Myth: Thinkers are more intelligent than Feelers.

There’s a rumor that facts rank higher than emotions. While this may be true in certain things, it’s false in others. Or even- the opposite is true. We need both thinkers and feelers in this world, and both are equally important. Just in different ways.

Ti, introverted thinking, focuses on organising the internal world. Everything connects neatly in the mind, and while the organisation system makes sense to no one else, the user is able to easily pull files from anywhere in their mental database.

Te, extroverted thinking, focuses on organising the external world. . .but this is where it gets tricky. They’re organising the external world internally. It’s hard to explain. There are a lot more cold, hard facts than Ti, which has more concepts and theories, though.

*collapses*

There.

It’s been. . . a lot of weeks, and I have no good excuse for why this took me so long. We also shan’t count how many times I opened this draft and looked at it blankly. Yes, I know the Intuition section is longer than the others. Let’s just say my brain fizzled and died around there.

If you want more information, https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/ is a pretty good source. There were more good sites and a couple blogs, but for some reason my mental database is pulling a blank, so sorry about that.

Let me know if you have any questions, and I’ll try to elaborate things in the comments.

Donec Iterum!

Judge? Everyone Does It.

A man went to the village.

He was an evangelist, going to visit a UPG (unreached people group) in the outskirts of a third world country. He’d come alone as an outsider to the UPGs, but not to the country.

Growing up in the country, he’d first learned about Jesus and salvation via a small radio in his hometown. Once he became a Christian, he would stop at nothing to spread the good news farther. He worked hard and eventually graduated from a seminary and instantly moved back to his country to share his beloved faith with people who hadn’t heard. . .yet.

Coming into the village early in the afternoon, he was greeted by the village leader. Unfortunately, a scowl, not a smile, met him.

“We do not want your kind here,” the leader growled at the evangelist.

Surprised and taken aback, the evangelist asked simply- “I’m sorry?”

“We know your kind. You are a Christian, yes?”

The eager evangelist nodded in confusion.

“Another man who claimed to be a Christian came to us a year ago,” the leader explained warily. “He taught us about love and Jesus.”

The evangelist nodded again, this time excited that his faith had preceded him.

“But then he lied to us. He cheated us. He stole from us,” the leader’s eyes narrowed. “He told us how to act, in love and kindness, but he did not do the same.”

The evangelist’s face fell at an all too familiar story of a hypocrite.

“We do not want anything to do with your kind,” the leader finished firmly.

The evangelist nodded slowly. “Very well then,” he sighed. “I will not bother you by even staying the night.”

The leader looked confused but didn’t argue.

“But please, as I am going on to the other villages, might I take a chicken with me?” The evangelist pointed time the many little creatures that were scurrying around as the men talked. “The other villages have never grown chickens before and have never seen them. I would like to show them what chickens are. I would be willing to buy one from you.”

The leader’s expression went from suspicious to proud. “Of course!” He beamed proudly. “You may even take one for free,” he spread out his hand to the large flock.

The evangelist smiled and went through the chickens as the leader and the villagers watched. He picked through them meticulously, until he’d picked the perfect chicken.

“Aha!” He nodded firmly. “Thank you, leader, for your generosity. I shall be on my way now.”

“Wait!” The leader stopped him. “Why must you choose that one?”

The chicken that the evangelist had chosen was small. Small, sickly, and barely alive. It peered at the world through its beady little eyes.

“Because,” the evangelist explained. “I want to get a chicken to show everyone else. Perhaps they will even be willing to trade for more when they see this one.”

The leader shook his head aghast. To have all the surrounding villages see this sickly chicken and think it represented all of their chickens? The horror.

“No, please take a healthier one! A bigger one, a cleaner one, a pretty one!” The leader urged. “The one ill chicken does not represent all the chickens we have!”

The evangelist tilted his head and set down the chicken. “And so the one unhealthy Christian does not represent all of Christians not all of Christianity.”

My father used to tell that story a lot. I thought about it the other day when someone mentioned how easily it is for people in general to be judgemental.

I think people forget that everyone is different, and that everyone is subjective. Christians are human too.

When one becomes a Christian, there’s not some supernatural transformation that leaves us being perfect angels (don’t we wish though *laughs*). Becoming a Christian doesn’t make us “good” or any better than anyone else. It just means we’ve dedicated ourself to Christ and to striving to be more like Him.

So just like Christians oughtn’t judge others, Christians oughtn’t be judged themselves. We’re not perfect. We’ll never be perfect.

All we can do is try to be more like Christ-

Who is perfect.

I LIVE!

[uncategorised rambling]

Heyyyy, so uhm, I dropped off the face of the planet for a bit. Heh. Much apologies.

I’m strongly considering changing this place up a bit (yes, I know it’s not even been 6 months of consistent posting, bear with me). Not a lot, I’ll still have Fiction/Non-Fiction/Poetry, but I kind of want to-

A) Not have such a strict posting schedule (because as we can all see- I totally can keep up with it. Not.)

B) Be able to share more personal deep thoughts

See, I have these random moments, whether they’re in the shower or over a cup of tea, where I have these really deep insightful thoughts.

Now, while they’re by no means common or particularly helpful, they’re a lot of fun to explain/share. Usually the people closest to me get to hear me go on a passionate ramble while they reply with blank stares and appropriate nods and “Ooh. Ahh. I see. That so? Mm”s.

My journal has been enjoying the reception of many of my thoughts, but I thought it’d be fun to share some of my favourite rambles with y’all. What do you think? What do *you* want to read from me? I really don’t have a set direction with this blog, honestly.

Anywho, thanks for letting me plop into your notifications with a rather nontraditional post. I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas in the comment section!

*steps off apple crate and carefully brushes it off*

Poem: Tied Together

[Key Word: LOVE]

See that girl sittin’ in the corner
The one with tears pathing the way
Down her cheek
From her heart
And onto the cold dark floor?

See the way she sits huddled up
With both legs pulled tight and close
To her chest
And by her arms
On the cold dark pitiless floor?

See the child next to her
Who’s lying, crying, on the ground
A baby girl
Just two months old
On the cold dark senseless ground

Jump ahead just a bit
Skip the part with the orphanage
Jump past the first few months
Switch continents and states

See the couple standing there
With the bags packed full
Heart wide opened
Arms eager to hold
On the other side of the world

See the smile on their faces
When they see a child being brought
Eyes full of tears
Mouth full of cries
In that small adoption room

See the woman hold her close
With her eyes looking down
Tenderly with love
Eyes filled with joy
At her new baby daughter

Jump ahead just a bit
Skip a dozen years or so
Jump past the first memories
Switch continents and states

See that woman in the fields
Her back bent and weary
Working hard
Talking little
On the farm outside of town

See that boy right next to her
He’s running and laughing
Head thrown back
Heart full of joy
On the farm outside of town

See that little girl standing by him
Who’s small tattered dress waves gently
As she watches her brother
And follows her mother
In the farm outside of town.

Jump ahead just a bit
Skip the lonely sleepless nights
Jump past the first tears
Switch continents and states

See the girl lying in bed
With the covers pulled up tight
As she dreams about the life
And she thinks about the family
In the country ‘cross the sea

See the tears that hit the pillow
When emotions break through the walls
That’s she’s built
For protection
In the country ‘cross the sea

See the girl staring at the ceiling
Long after lights are out
In her room
And her head
In the country ‘cross the sea

Two different girls
With two different stories
Yet somehow tied together

Poetry Dump

[I’m breaking up the usual pattern and giving you a poetry dump! Let me know your thoughts in the comment below (: I’m still a newbie to poetry, so I apologise for the pain your eyes are about to go through. . .]

Poem 1: My Dream

I saw a man who stood alone

Away from other people

Though not alone because beside him

Stood four eager horses.

The first was strong and brown and short

I somehow knew his name

He was “Earth” with his mighty mane

And he stomped to confirm my thought.

The second was white- The colour of waves

Her mane was flowy and long

Her motions were light and simple indeed

Though beneath them, I saw the great strength.

The third was another brown horse though with spots

He was young and seemed rather impatient

He pawed at the dust and neighed at the man

I knew him, his name was “Life”.

The final horse stood in a corner

His dark smooth skin flowed black

His eyes bore into my soul

And I quaked at his silent judgement.

I waited to see what the man would do as he slowly took off his hat

With a gentle smile, he reached out his hand

And began to tame the horses.

Earth, he let run free and happy

Though he made sure to give him some Water.

Ocean he barely taught restraint

And handled her completely at ease.

Life he shook his head over sadly before taking his bridle in hand

Carefully he guided Life ‘round the training ground

Gentle, yet firm all the same.

The dark black stallion was left for the last

And I wondered his fate as I stood there.

The man looked the black horse straight in the eye

And commanded him to be still

The black horse froze and his eyes lost their glare

The spirit within sank low

He bird his head the man who had spoken

And the man gave a small smile.

I marvelled this man

His skills and his talent

He’d controlled the four horses with ease.

Earth, Ocean, Life, and evening the darkness-

He has it completely controlled.

Poem 2

You saw me out your window

When I played in the grass.

You saw me run and jump and laugh

While lying on your back.

~

You watched me play with dogs and cats

While hiding in your room,

You saw me fall and scrape myself

When playing by the rocks.

~

You watched me as the summer days

Drifted slowly by,

You never dreamed that summers later

You would make me cry.

~

You saw from me from your sickbed

As I chased the butterflies,

You saw me from your own front porch

When I happened to chance by.

~

The summer of next was beautiful

You and I together,

A decade later we stood by the pond

As you knelt to ask my hand.

~

I was princess with a perfect prince

Standing by the waters,

Everything was picturesque

‘Til you left me holding flowers.

~

The shots were fired and duty called

You left to defend your home,

And I was left alone in the garden

With nowhere left to roam.

Poem 3: I Saw

I saw you dance among the stars

The night after you left.

I didn’t know the rhyme or reason

I just knew what I saw.

I saw you twirl gracefully,

Your skirt billowed wide.

I saw you leap into the skies,

A sparkle in your eyes.

I miss you, Love, I want you back

To you to fill my empty heart

You’re beautiful among the stars

But even more so-

In my arms.

Poetry: Searching

[Key Word: SEARCHING]

Note: This is one of my first Spoken Word Poems, so I understand it’s not particularly inspiring or clear. I hope to get better in this genre (and as you can see- there’s lots of room for improvement!). Thanks for bearing with me through this rough draft.

What is Spoken Word Poetry? SWP is a poetic performance that uses such tools as metaphors, rhyme, alliteration, intonation and much more to create an aesthetic verbal performance.

There I was- 

Lost and alone.

I was alone in the dark just searching the woods for something

anything

nothing.

I’m not sure how I got there or how I’ll get out, I just know I’m here right now.

I don’t have a light, a lamp, or a candle. I don’t have my phone, or a laptop, or tablet. I have nothing, and I’m searching for something.

There I was-

Alone and misled.

I was searching the physical world for something that I needed

wanted 

needed.

I was looking for something to fill the empty dark void of my soul. The space left unfilled and hungry. My heart ached after something I didn’t know of and didn’t have.

I don’t know what I’m looking for. I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know why I’m searching

I just am.

There I was-

Misled and lost.

I was following the paths of those before me who’d trekked these woods

alone 

misled 

lost in the dark.

I was listening to the whispers and lies of the world that told me I’d find everything I needed if I just looked. The lies that said the world could fulfill me and fill up the void in my soul left searching and hungry.

The darkness and emptiness haunted me as I searched, and I looked for the something to fill me. It plagued my thoughts by day and by night, my hours awake and my hours asleep. Never did they think that I needed a rest, that I needed a break, from the constancy of it’s attention.

There I was-

Lost and broken.

I was searching for something more that hadn’t been shown me by the mortals of the earth something

unknown 

new. 

I was waiting for someone to come into my life and tell me the Truth and give me a Light to guide my way to find both of those. I was searching for a Guide to show me what it was I was missing. I was looking for something to tell me what my soul lacked to fill its void.

Never did I realise in a thousand years that You were standing right in front of me, trying to get my attention as I stumbled blindly through the forest of Life and sought after the substance to fill me. I didn’t realise that all this time You were waiting to help me and fill my soul and give me peace.

There I was-

Adopted by the King.